The Funny Thing about Dermatology Appointments

Every 6 months I have to get naked and let a stranger look at all my skin. Like Buffalo Bill but in  white lab coat.

Details: After having a melanoma so small there's no measurement small enough to categorize it, I now attend biannual dermatology appointments where they search my whole body for more microscopic spots of cancer.

The weird thing is, they insist I change from street clothes into a medical gown. And then the doctor pushes aside the gown piece by piece to look at every inch of my skin: between my toes, through my scalp like a monkey picking bugs, under my boobs, literally everywhere. And they make casual conversation with me. While picking bugs. It's like a vaginal exam, but all over.

And here's the funny part: they are looking for dots on my skin that could kill me. Killer dots. Tiny, killer, dots. And just because the doctor doesn't find anything, doesn't mean it's not here. I also have to have an eye doctor look at the skin BEHIND my eyes to see if there's cancer back there. And dentists are told to look for cancer inside my mouth. And gynecologists.... you get the idea.

But that gown though....

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